D-Day, Inc. D-Day, Inc.
Most milk consumed (Previous record)
Saturday, 19 Nov 2005
Dave Harper
Context: This submission comes from a company of Apache Longbow helicopter personnel currently stationed in Iraq. D-Day kept the almost all of the original verbage intact to accurately preserve the events of this fateful day
We got into a discussion last week [13 Nov 2005] about a person not being able to drink and keep down a gallon of milk. One of our W-1s* (Dave Harper) said he KNEW he could drink and keep down a gallon of milk in/for one hour. Milk at the mess hall only comes in 250ml containers, so we figured 15 would be about a gallon [quick math: 0.991 gal.]. Dave chose "Full Cream - NADA Fresh" milk over skim; bold move. We are not sure if it is milk from a cow, a goat, or a camel. [Nutritional info omitted for space]. We received quite a few looks from the other patrons for the 15 bottles on one tray. Dave started strong at 0752. At 20 minutes into the challenge, he had downed 6 milks. "That's a lot of fucking milk!" was his first real hint at cracking. One of the more astute W-1s* went and got a 45 gallon trash bag; good move.
A little later Dave [declared], "I'm scared to burp." He finished number 7 by 25 minutes, and his eyes started to glaze over. At the halfway point, he [warned] "you may want to keep that bag open" and "don't make me laugh!". [Dave] finally choked down number 8 by 37 minutes, but he was hurting. At 40 minutes he had his head down on the table. "I'm pacing myself" he stated. At the 45 minute mark he had finished #9, all the time plotting how he would down the last 3 or 4 in the last couple of minutes. But the mess hall was closing, so we all grabbed the milks and started to depart. As we were discussing giving him a few extra minutes to offset the walking time, we looked for Dave. He had ducked into the emergency exit to expunge his milk breakfast. [The result] was a very heavy trash bag, and he almost got some sympathy pukers as we each weighed the bag. [Dave chug-a-lugged 0.594 gal. of milk].
Young David now knows that it is not possible to drink a gallon of milk. He has also learned to listen more closely to his senior Warrant Officers. And a couple of us are $20 richer, thanks to young Dave. Hopefully pictures are to follow when we move North and get a better setup.
* W-1: US Army rank of Warrant Officer 1
- submitted by Bobo, CW3, brother to D-Day
Did not achieve goal! As noted above, Dave was trying for one (1) gallon of milk. Close, Elsie.